XXL Mania

Why do mallus have this special affiliation towards everything of big size?- a question which frequents my mind. Some days back I happened to participate in a housewarming function of one of my acquaintances. An architectural marvel (I can’t call it a “house” anyway!), standing in a huge compound of more than twenty cents in the midst of the city. Furnished in the ultra modern fashion (each room with its own theme) , the owner was eloquent on the fittings which he carefully imported from various parts of the world. One message he wanted to give to the world is that his is the biggest and the best house in the locality.

I would like to call this phenomenon as the “XXL Mania” and this mania is evident not just in the case of a house. An average mallu wants his car to be “big and luxurious”, he wants to work in a “big” MNC, he wants to shop from a “big” mall, he wants to eat from a “big” restaurant, his kids should study in a “big” school and the list goes on.

But on the contrary he can’t change his attitude which still remains “small”. He cannot accept when his neighbor gets a “bigger” car, when his neighbour’s son gets admission in a “bigger” school or when his neighbour’s wife is beautiful. In such cases, he finds out reasons to spread rumors. When it comes to spreading rumours, nobody can beat a mallu male, who thinks everyone other than his wife is bad (in some cases, including his wife)! His attitude towards his own wife can sometimes be described as “Zero size”. He feels it unacceptable, when his wife has a male friend, when his wife reaches a higher position than himself, when his wife wins an argument, when his wife is good looking than himself or when his wife has disposable income. (I know, what you are thinking about! - Its not about Manoj( my husband) .. But i know many cases like these..ok?)

Though in such cases his mind is “zero size”, his preference for XXL is evident in the selection of his wife – Ya, she should be of good height and weight and from a “Big” family!  

I remember my recent visit to some remote rural parts of the country- a visit to the real rural India. A real rural India where having three meals a day is a luxury, where having a cot and mattress to sleep is luxury, where having more than two dresses is luxury, where you don’t find a bakery with varieties of muffins, doughnuts and burgers, where you can’t find range for your blackberry or iphone, where you have to wait in queue for accessing internet, where you can’t get all the cokes and pepsi when you feel thirsty-the list goes on. But one thing I could easily find there. Ya, you guessed it right- Smiling faces. The smile that sends a special message –saying that “I care for you”, “I am happy you are here” and ”Have a share of my food”. Those faces had nothing much to say about themselves, nothing great to achieve, never worried about inflation or insurance! These people find happiness in melas, small festivals and group parties.

The men never marry from “big” families -of course, the reason here is different. These adivasi men have to give money to the girl’s family in return for marriage. The reason is simple; the girl is the one who will win bread for the family. She will toil in the fields or go out for working early in the morning till late night. For them, when a girl comes to a family, that family is uplifted. Though this “upliftment” factor is correct in our mallu society, the concept of “bride money” is not here. The average mallu man wants the highest possible dowry-even when the girl is highly educated and earns on her own!

Oh! What a contradiction I feel! On one side , when the mallu wants everything of XXL size , his mind is shrinking to zero size! On the other side, when the rural man wants nothing, his mind is expanding to XXL size! A mind which accepts a female as an equal partner, a mind that finds happiness in small things,a mind which loves and cares for fellow beings!

1. I had got an opportunity to visit some adivasi villages in the naxal hit areas of Jagdalpur ,Chattisgarh. The lives of the people there was so simple and adorable that it made me think for some time, that what a luxury we are living in. Of course, with limited financial

resources and unlimited land resources, these people lead a very simple lifestyle, eating what they sow and reap. The care and concern for their fellow beings is what made me surprised. Yes, they have a XXL heart!

2. My comments about malayali men is generalized and has exemptions.(it may include you too !) 

(this article was published in a newsmagazine six months back)