Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Being a Woman

Come the month of March, the city gets busy with programs meant for women. We have women seminars, women entrepreneurship summits, women awards , women competitions and what not! 
Its as if, suddenly the world is reminded that there is this part of the human species which should be honored, awarded, loved and cared for. Well, somethings are better than nothing! Women's day celebrations do help to disseminate the awareness about women empowerment, education ,security, domestic violence, abuse and other feminine matters!  
Every Women's day could also become a pointer towards the stage of liberation or empowerment that women gains year after year. (Probably some research could be conducted as a longitudinal study to understand the parameters of women empowerment and how it transcends through the years) 
I remember my school and college days and when I travel outside , my mother was very particular that I carry an umbrella, a water bottle and yes , pray well to God to safe guard me from any mishappenings. She always told me , "Whenever you are afraid, start silent chanting of Om nama shivaya..Shiva will help you from danger." . This was my manthra of safety. Whenever i am alone, Shiva was there to safeguard me. Of course, this manthra has been my "Confidence manthra" as well. In those days, we didn't have mobile phone , smart phone, hidden camera and all such security devices to track whether a girl was safe in college, in bus , in bathroom and in kitchen! 
As a young girl, I too lacked self esteem and possessed self-doubt especially when i am expected to talk to strangers. I  remember, my mother used to send me to the bank to deposit cash or do some minor transactions so that i get accustomed to such financial matters. I still remember my first visit to the nearby bank . I was asked to deposit some cash. I thought the task is simple. But only after i reached the long queue at the cash counter and handed over the cash to the cashier, he asked, "where is the deposit slip?" . I gave the passbook and then the cashier said, "No, I need deposit slip. Take the slip from there and fill it and then bring". I was out of the queue, wondering what has actually happened. I searched the pink, blue ,yellow, white and green coloured slips hanging at the window and then got utterly confused about what it actually was." While I stood wondering what next to do, I saw there were many men busily writing on the coloured slips. "Should I ask them? Nah, what will they think of me!  I am an educated and smart girl and I know how to handle this! "  I went through all the slips and understood that the world of banking is so complicated that I will never take up a banking job! However, my problem is yet not solved. I tried to go to the counter to ask the officers sitting on the other side to help me. But, they were too busy handling clients and most of them were men to whom I somehow was afraid to ask. I prayed to Shiva , my saviour , "Om nama shivaya, please help me!". This time, shiva heard my prayers. Suddenly I saw a well dressed Aunty (who appeared like a teacher or a doctor) came near to where I was standing trying to pull out one of the slips. I smiled at her and almost whispered to her , "Aunty, Can you please help me ? I want to deposit this cash to my mother's account. I do not know how to do it."  She smiled and said, "Why not!  take that pink slip and I will teach you how to write"  She appeared to me like an incarnation of Lord Shiva at that moment . I followed her instructions and completed the form and went back to the cashier with a pride of achievement! The cashier smiled and asked , " Why did you take so long to bring the deposit slip?" . I gave a funny smile and left the counter after getting the entry in my pass book. 
Oh my dear cashier sir, how can I tell you that I am afraid of asking things to strangers - especially to men! How can I tell u that I am afraid of being ridiculed if I did any blunder! And how can an educated and smart girl appear dumb in front of unknown men! And how can I trust the men and talk to them in public? What if someone catches me talking to men? Isn't it bad for a teenage girl to talk to strangers? "These gripping thoughts actually made me resort to the help of a woman - who may be better learned than me but I am comfortable to ask to. 
This incident was in 1999  or 2000. 
Fifteen years down the lane, today, thanks to the ATM and deposit machines, we don't need to fill the slips everytime we bank . But yes, I too have grown confident enough to ask a stranger (even if , its a man!) when I am in doubt. And best of all, I am equipped with the best adviser a woman can ever get - Google and a Smartphone !  Yes, I am an Empowered woman at last! 
And I believe , most women in my generation are empowered that way. But wait, Am I correct? Some recent incidents has made me rethink though. Despite having all tools at hand, most women even today feel it comfortable to ask another woman whenever they are in doubt! Let me narrate a few incidents..
Scene 1: I am sitting on the visitors chair at HDFC bank , scrolling my phone. A good looking and seemingly well educated lady comes to me and asks " excuse me , how to deposit cash in this bank? "
Scene 2: I am at Reliance shopping mall scanning through the shelves and making purchase decisions. A good looking and seemingly well educated lady comes to me and asks so hurriedly , " excuse me , I don't want this item , where should I return it ?"
Scene 3: I am at Sunrise hospital, waiting at the OP for my name to be called.. A good looking and seemingly well educated lady comes to me and asks , "excuse me , Is Dr. XYS on leave today?"

Who says modern Indian woman is liberated? She still feels it comfortable to ask another female whenever in doubt ! 

Now, that's how we women are! :)  Empowered , Liberated but still confused and doubtful at times! 
tongue emotico
And the next time someone starts a conversation with "excuse me " , it simply means you may end up becoming an adviser on spot ! (Or a reincarnation of Lord Shiva or Krishna or Guruvayoorappa or Jesus christ or Allah ! ) 

Celebrating Womenhood! Happy Women's day 

Posting some contemporary quotes about women below !  :) 

CeeVee (2016) 









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