Wooden Ceiling

Why do educated women (professionally qualified, sometimes) sit at home after marriage? Is it the man (her husband/in law’s) to be blamed? No, I don’t think so. Not always. These days men are quite supportive about their wife taking up a job..

I remember having met a doctor friend of mine, who complained that his wife- who is also  a doctor , is not willing to pursue her career , because their son is small. She would like to take care of the family and the newly built big house ,it seems.

Well, I feel very irritated when I see such women who quit their profession (that too highly qualified doctors, engineers, managers etc)  just because they have a son/daughter who goes to school! In some worst cases, this school going child will be around 17 years old.

Ok, I do agree that every woman may have to fulfill her role of motherhood during the initial years of a child. But the question is, how long? I would leave it to the woman herself to take a decision. But let me just put some thoughts before you take a final decision.

Every mother will have to breastfeed her baby say upto 1year or so. Let’s take this one year as a career break. After that, in majority cases, we find that these women get used to the comfort zone of not working. For eg, she can get up late in the morning, do her activities in a slower pace than when she was working and moreover, she enjoys the excellent company of her baby. During this time, she just cant imagine of leaving her baby to someone else for a job. Incidentally, many women  “spoil” her husband and to a great extent herself, in doing the household chores in a very relaxed manner. Her husband also starts enjoying his own lower responsibility levels in the family and feels that , if his wife do not go for a job, everything will be fine at home. Things move on like this for some more years.. say till the boy/girl goes to school. Once the child goes  to school, then again the lady has many more reasons for not taking up her profession. She now says, that she has to teach her kids..take them to various classes and above all her kid doesn’t eat vegetables or drink milk unless she feeds.

Time goes on..until when the child turns an adolescent. Now, comes the real shock for the mother. The child who was always holding the hands of the mom is no more.. the child starts having his/her own tastes…opinions and ideas… Then , comes the BIG FIGHT between the mom and the daughter/son. The husband during all this period was focusing on his career and  he sometimes hates coming home, because of the nagging of his wife and also the big fight of the mom and the kid.

Now comes the turning point. The ideologies of mom and the kid starts clashing and the father in most cases will start supporting the kid.(reason is simple: "Dad is cool..he understands me.and my generation..but mom doesn't know what's happening in the world and keeps on nagging me! ") ..The mom, ends devastated. She starts hating her own life ..thinks that no one loves her and curses her meaningless existence.. and in worst cases ends up with some psychological ailment.

Add to this, some women may start getting their menopausal symptoms which leads to hormonal imbalances at around the ages when their kids are entering the colleges. The mother then starts having a very difficult emotional and mental makeup and may also start having illnesses like heart problems, BP, diabetes, arthritis etc. The husband also in the meantime starts complaining the incapability of the wife in not being able to manage the house in the previous manner.

 Years go on..and when  the woman ultimately dies, of course her husband, children and grandchildren may cry for some time and then her memories slowly fade out.

Well, you may now ask me what’s wrong in this kind of a life? Ultimately the woman has fulfilled her role of a “good “ wife and a “good” mother.

But think for sometime, has she fulfilled her role of a good citizen of this world? Has she fulfilled her role of a good doctor/engineer/teacher/ or any other profession for which her parents sent her to college and took all the hardships for her education? 

Let me just conclude by saying that the number of women who are entering higher education , especially professional education is increasing. But how many of them actually pursue their career till the end? Glass ceiling may exist or not. But I would say there is a “Wooden Ceiling” in the minds of the women, who just forget their roles of a citizen and become selfish, thinking only about their family. Glass Ceiling can be broken, but only when the wooden ceiling is broken and women come out of their shell..will there be any purpose for their existence.

...Do think about this.. bye bye & take care!

CeeVee

P.S: I think , most nagging sessions will happen in houses where women don’t have any other activities. Also most cases of “doubt” about the husband will also be among housewives than working women. The reason is simple :”An idle mind is a devil’s workshop”!  and hey , one more thing: An educated idle mind is a better workshop for the devil!

P.S 2: Some "educated housewives" even have a contempt for the "working women" and feel that  these women go behind about their career and do not actually take care of their family well. But in real, i feel that working women make a much "better" mother than the nonworking mother.

PS3: I am not saying that all women should go for a "job". My point is "all women must have some income generating activity", which will keep their brain busy.