Angry Birds and Bad Piggies

Last night, me and my husband were fighting with each other. So, what?  What’s there to write a blog about? Its just normal in married life. Yes, I know that.. and its just another happening in the past nine years of our co-existence!  Yes, getting angry is easy; but   getting angry at the right person at the right time in the right way – that’s difficult. Why do we get angry at others?- Answer is simple:- Because of our expectations. 

Not clear? Its very simple dear- Just the same logic, as I had once mentioned about love in one of my previous blogs.

You get angry when you don’t get something which you expected. Its your need which is primary cause for your anger. When your needs are not met, you feel frustrated. But, the way we express differs from person to person.

 Just as Abraham Maslow told about the basic needs of human beings, anger  can also listed as having basic, safety, social , self esteem and self actualization aspects to its expression.

Anger can be expressed when our basic needs like hunger, thirst, sex etc are not satisfied. Similarly anger can be expressed when our security and safety needs are not satisfied or when our social and relationship needs are not satisfied. Self esteem and Self actualization needs also could lead to anger.

We actually mature to go for higher needs like self esteem needs or self actualization needs when we become aged .For eg: My seven year old daughter throws a temper tantrum when she doesn’t get her favorite piece of jewellery or chocolate , whereas my thirty five year old colleague  gets angry when  his ego is hurt.  Some people get angry when they see crimes in society whereas some people get angry when a dog is beaten up. Some people get angry when their rights are violated and some people get angry when they are asked to work!.  But, some people remain immature throughout their life, with regard to anger!

Ok, Now, coming back to fight between two people. When we are angry at each other, we can only imagine all the worst things about the person. Only after the anger subsides , we get our realistic mind back and then we confess that whatever we had imagined about the person was wrong!

Well, these are all just normal human emotions. Why should I write about this? If that’s the question ,then here is the answer.  These days , we are forgetting our basic emotions. We are focusing on showing a perfect face every where. That’s why , we can see many artificial faces with artificial emotions. People smile ,even when they don’t like the person. They crack jokes, even when they don’t know how to. Many husbands keep telling lies to their wives just to make him appear good. Many wives keep smiling even when they don’t like the way her husband behaves. That’s coz,  people don’t get angry at each other easily these days. Thanks to the “so called” diplomatic behavioral trainings and other things! In a highly civilized society, you are not supposed to get angry dear!! Or rather – express your anger!

But, just like any emotion when suppressed for long, erupts one day, anger can also erupt… suddenly… and in such instances, the outcome may be a huge disaster. As I am writing this,  the world is going through several such instances – one in America, where several kids were shot dead by an angry young man and in India- a huge angry mob is fighting its course for justice- justice for the young girl who was raped in Delhi. In all these cases, you can see that, keeping silent for long may lead to a heavy outcome finally.

Now, as a psychologist, my suggestion is that ,"its OK to express our anger(rather than suppressing it), in a suitable ,non-harming way for sometime .But if your session of anger goes beyond 1 hour, then its better to keep silent , drink some water, cry , or close your eyes, take deep breath and sleep!”

Chao!

CeeVee

P.S: Do you know why Angry Birds is a super hit game?  Its coz, they cater to our need of expressing our bad emotions like anger, violence and releases us  of the frustration. And angry birds get angry at Bad piggies only, just as we get angry at bad situations /people only!

P.S 2: Photography courtesy: Manoj . Model: Mythili (in different expressions!) I am posting a better photo of my daughter below, otherwise she will get angry at me, for posting that horrible photograph 

Going Naked!

Wearing proper dress helps you conceal not just the body but also sometimes your mind!

Yes, it is said that wearing the proper attire, which is matching the situation, helps in projecting the proper image about a person.

But then, there are many people who actually strip publicly!!!! 

I mean, why do people go naked in public, without considering that they are actually making a fool of themselves?!!

OK, Ok, I am still in India and did not go to any foreign land where there are no barriers for body exposure!

My dear, I am talking about the dress you are wearing online. Yes, when you are using the internet through various social networking sites,  chat sites, youtube etc.

Most of the present day internet users do not know how to behave in public and keep posting messages or pictures which is actually harming their personality indirectly. 

Ultimately, their misbehavior affects their career and sometimes, even their life!

Not convinced of what I am talking of? Well, I think, I could collect some proof my dear!

According to a recent research report by the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM), 76% of companies said that they do use or are planning to use social media sites for recruiting. More than half of the employers responding said that social networking sites are an efficient way to recruit candidates.

65% of the respondents said they look to Facebook, 63% cited LinkedIn, while Twitter was on the radar of only 16% of hiring managers.

That's about career. I do not have any statistics about life spoiled because of wrong online profiles! I  think, it may be quite relevant for marital proposals however!

Well, what made me write about this?

Recently, one of my friends told me about an incident of posting of a comment by a lady friend of his, who used some abusive language about him in public. This friend of mine felt insulted and retorted in an equally abusive language. He couldn’t believe the fact that, this particular lady belonged to a decent family and still could behave like that in public. Probably, even she would have thought the same about him! 

Now, this is what I compared to stripping in public!! Unfortunately, this stripping will stay for longer, unless you hide it yourself !!

Worst of all -  our youth today thinks that its fashionable to use such abusive words or even the “F” words so easily in the internet !! Unfortunate people have the unpleasant experience of reading these horrible language and words, even unintentionally! I am even worried about my children who can be the victims of these language usages even in a much small age.

So, the moral of the story:- Post or write only what your grandmother/mother could see without twisting her eyebrows! Including posting comments in Facebook!

Moreoever, use decent language and gain respect of fellow beings , rather than creating a “yuck, how could he/she say this?!”

Now, coming to anonymous commentors on your facebook profile or your blog or your youtube videos :- May god bless them! Coz, they will be cursed by so many people at the same time. Shame on them!

Take Care Dear !

CeeVee

N.B: If you really want to know how mallus use abusive words never heard before , please view some youtube film of Santhosh Pandit!! You can see the creative use of the language!! LOL.. 

P.S. Photography Copyright – Vinodkumar.T.G. Thankyou Vinod, I couldn’t find a better photo for this article!

Welcome Sandy!

Last week was the power show by the Sandy- the super storm, which devastated the eastern coast of the world’s powerful nation, USA. Yes, sandy proved once again that however big and powerful man has become, nature is still beyond his control!

Its good to have Sandys once in a while. Wait, wait, don’t jump into conclusions that I am too mean and not considerate about the innocent people who have died.

I am talking about the Sandy within our minds.

Sometimes in life, we need to have some super storms within our minds, which could wash away bad memories, unwanted thoughts, negative energy with just one wipe!

Every person has some incidents, some people, some relationships, some thoughts, some fears, some worries, and some emotional disturbances which may act as a block and pull you from inside. Well, some may have more of that and others only little – depending upon their mental courage and capacity.

One fine day, something happens- just like sandy came.. and hey! You decide to wash out everything of the past! I don’t know whether anyone of you has had this feeling before. But, it gives some kind of a relief to our mind. A Feeling of lightness.

Well, this sandy is nothing but our own decision. When we decide to be free,  we can call in Sandy. But again, not many people will be able to do that either, as they want. That’s what I told, sometimes when it happens on its own, it may be good!

So,Welcome Sandy!

By the way , as I write this post, Mr.Obama has got a second term as the President of America and just as he said “Best Yet to Come!” , I think after every Sandy in our minds,  we can say to ourselves, “Best Yet to come!”

Chao for now!

CeeVee

P.S: BTW, it seems Sandy created some sympathetic waves towards Obama and helped him win this election. Well, in that case, "Welcome Sandy..!" 

The Roller-Coaster Ride of My Life!

Life is a roller-coaster ride. Though, I am afraid of getting into a real roller-coaster, I really enjoy the ride of my life!

Life gives me surprises, thrills and unexpected twists sometimes.

The past few days has actually given me such a feeling. Many things happened, which actually may  appear quite fictional ,but its real.

September 25^th , 2012 – I met this great man for the first time during a press meet. I heard him speak about his achievement very passionately.

September 26^th , 2012 – I met him again – celebrating his success. Every newspaper and channel carried this news.

September 27^th , 2012 – I met him again and  interviewed him.

October 5th , 2012 – I met him again and this time , he interviewed me.

October 6^th, 2012 – I joined him in his pursuit for higher success.

Ok.. I am not giving too much of a suspense. Let me give the story now.

The man I am talking about is none other than Mr. Jose Thomas (JT), the Chairman of Choice Group of Companies.

As an RJ at AIR, I was invited to attend the Press meet for the launch of Choice Paradise – South India’s tallest building – 40 storied marvel, envisioned by JT five years back and made into a reality now. I have heard about this interesting man and really wanted to see him in person. One thing I noted during his speech was that he was truly passionate in his words.

I attended the launch event on the next day- which showed his capability as an organizer, leader  and yes as a loving host. The event was one of a kind in the history of Cochin- bringing in the best artists , guests and glamour.

The next day, amidst all his busy schedules , he came to the AIR studio for the interview. But, the moment he entered itself, he told that the interview shouldn’t last more than 15 mins, as he has to get back to office before 5pm.  However, as the chat show, “Moments with Rainbow”, progressed, he got interested. Or rather, should I say , my questions made him eloquent and forget his time!!  Unbelievable it may seem, but the interview went on for almost two hours and we forcefully winded up the program. To my great surprise, while the interview progressed and was nearing completion, JT asked me straight, “ You seem to be smart. Why don’t you join Choice?”. I was shocked for a moment. However, I smiled and continued with the interview.  At the end of the show,JT enquired about my profile and then, told“You did the interview very well. I would like to have people like you in my team"!

The next day, I got a call from  the PRO of Choice (who is also a good friend of mine) , asking for my resume. I was stlll doubtful or rather perplexed. “How can someone offer so bluntly for a job, without knowing who  and what I am?”. It was as if, a boy proposing a girl in the first meeting!!

Anyhow, I sent my resume which detailed my entire multitasking  professional experience. I never thought that I would be getting a job in the corporate world, because I lacked focus (According to them!). I mean, I can equally handle HR, Training, Teaching, Research, Media, Advertising,Marketing  etc. To top it all, I have a “not so fruitful” entrepreneurial experience too.

Coming back to the remaining story :

Thanks to “Moments with Rainbow”(the show which I present)  I could also convince JT to request Shri. Mohanlal. who is a good friend of JT,  for an interview. 

On October 2^nd, We went to Choice house for the first time- to get the interview of the great actor, Shri.Mohanlal. Lal cooperated with us because his best friend JT requested him.

On October 3^rd, I sent a “Thankyou” message to JT for helping us get an interview of Mr. Mohanlal.

On October 4^th, I sent an SMS to JT , saying , “Sir, I have sent my resume to PRO. I would like to get interviewed by you”.  (Still doubtful whether  my resume will cater to the corporate profile of a manager)

On October 5^th,I had my interview with JT. The first statement that he made when I entered the room was that , “I never thought that I will be interviewing you”. I said , “Sir, that’s what we call as destiny!”. Then the interview proceeded for almost an hour, where I explained my career, my family, my ambitions, my successes, failures, my strengths, weaknesses etc.  I thought that, he wouldn’t be interested , if I say that my ambition is to “become an entrepreneur” . But, to my great surprise, he was really impressed by my vision, my dreams and my passion. He said, “I was impressed by the way you did my interview and today,  I am impressed by you.” He offered me four different types of jobs. Yes, One interview and Four Jobs.

Well, today, as I write this article, I have already joined the Choice Group of Companies, in their corporate office and would be assisting JT directly in business and expansion matters. I admire JT for his vision, power, ambitions, knowledge and the people oriented style of functioning. I believe that, I will be able to  learn so much under his mentorship. He has also given me a good platform to showcase my capabilities and I also expect that I can reach great heights in life.  Even, within just one week  of joining, I have learnt so many things, which no management textbook can teach.

This turn of my life was something so unexpected and hence I said, “life is a roller –coaster ride”. While when some people may think that ,I was “Lucky” to get this offer, I think I actually “achieved” this offer, because of what I am and what I have gained through the years.

My experiences –especially my failures, my difficulties and how I overcame all that…My passion towards whatever I do…My willingness to go an extra mile to reach my goal…Above all , each and every little job I have done.. All these made me what I am today... My crude but different kinds of experiences is what attracted  JT- the entrepreneur with a difference.

 Life is a roller- coaster ride. It has many surprises, ups and downs. But one thing is for sure – You move on in a Fast pace. And yes, I always believe, “Whatever happens is for Good and if not, its for better”.

Now, having taken up a very important role in an organization which is fast expanding, I pray to the almighty that I should be able to do full justice to the responsibility to the role I have been given and in return, learn and develop myself as a good management professional.

I love to quote Steve jobs here. He said that ,”Life is all about connecting the dots. At the end, whatever you have done in your life will have some meaning, though you may feel that its useless at that point of time”.

Its my previous dots that made me what I am and it is these present dots, that will make me what I would be in future!

Hence I always followed one policy- Do whatever you do NOW with passion and your full capacity. You never know when this experience will help you!

J

CeeVee

P.S: you can visit my boss's blog to know more about him . www.josethomas.in

The teddy bear and pencil dreams!

I got an SMS from one of my students. It goes like this..

"One of the best childhood memories.. No matter where you fall asleep- sofa or floor , You always wake up on the Bed"

True, very true right? There is always someone to take care of you.
Wish, we always have that facility in our lives.

I too have some very interesting childhood memories..

The smallest pencil i had was just around one inch long and I used to write with it still. We were given new pencil only after the entire pencil is exhausted. (But my kids dont have such difficulties in life today!)

When my mother came home from work, we searched her bag with full of hopes - feel extremely happy when there is a Vada/ cutlet folded in a newspaper. She had carefully folded it and kept the one or two party tidbits for her children (whenever some official function happens at her office). We get such items to eat only on such occasions. ( Now, when my children utter the word "pizza" or "crispy chicken" , its on their table!)

And then, there was this piggy bank like box, where we used to put coins. We collect coins from father's shirt pocket or the corner of the yellow almirah where he kept the 10ps , 20ps or 50ps coins after his cigerette expenses! (Now, my kids also have a piggy bank, but they get to put 100 rs notes in it!)

We wait with so much excitement for a new dress( only during deepavali or onam). Many times, the dress bought by my father or mother will be hidden in a safe corner of the almirah. We keep asking  when will the dress be purchased. And then, lo! , just the day of the festival or the day before, we get to see the surprise! We are extremely happy and we hug and kiss our mother.. Then, ofcourse, the fashion parade begins.. we wear it and walk through the rough cement floors of our house.
Today, my kids get to wear the most modern outfits at every possible occasions. Also, the excitement is costlier than those days!

We finish all our homeworks and wait patiently to watch "chithrageetham" or " chithrahaar" in DD. Also ,Sundays are meant for "Mahabharatha", "Ramayana" and yes, one Super hero drama in hindi ( i forgot the name!). We never understood fully  the dialogues or the story, but we wait for it the whole week, coz, that's when we get to watch TV for a long time (more than three hours at a stretch!). Now my kids can browse through atleast five or six cartoon channels itself. Still they seemed to be bored!

Going for a movie is something like a HUGE festival. I remember how we all (my father, mother, me and my sister) in a Lambi Scooter, went to "Kilukkam" movie. -probably the BEST movie experience i ever had. We actually went to some other theatre first and then we didn't get ticket. So, we went to this theatre, without much knowledge about the story or reviews or anything! I still remember , my own happy face after watching that movie! (I can't remember any such movie experience off late!). My kids today go to multiplex theatres and have popcorn for Rs 750!

My school- my teachers- they were not  "groomed to look like a model" nor "spoke english in british accent" .  They spanked me with cane, scolded me harshly and gave me impositions. But still , they influenced greatly in bringing out the best in me. (Today , no teacher can dare to scold a child or beat a child! )

We used to walk home from school. almost 3 kilometers. My mother gives me Rs 3 everyday for autofare. My sister (lazy and a slightly fat girl) , poor thing, she cribs and fights with me the whole way back home! -Coz, I saved the money for buying some curios from the roadside shop. I was always called as a "pishukki" (miser). The curios include name slips, ear rings, bangles, clips or even bubblegums.

Once in a while, one of my friend (whose father is in dubai) , brings the foreign chocolate- A small nut covered with chocolate- we get one piece only. This chocolate remains safely till the end of the day ,inorder to take it home - to show it to mother or sister. And then, we share small portion of it! WOW..what a tasty thing! wish we could get more..  The next day, I become more attached to this "rich" friend and ready to write her notes or any help, hoping that she may give more of the same chocolate. How I used to jealously look at the colourful pencil box or the BIG rubber with a brush on its tail or the pencil (which had  nibs that could be replaced !) that this girl's dad gave! Hahaha, Its all very interesting memories now!

I got to see many teddy bears and other soft toys  of my friends , but got my own only in my 9th standard or so! But this was not that "soft and fluffy" as theirs! How I wished to have my own Barbie doll! but never got one!

I feel nostalgic!  I think, we had  limited resources when we were young, compared to the lavish resources that  we and our children are getting today! There was always this longing-  this desire to get the things we want. But for that, I must study, I must get a good job and make money! And I did it.. I always had that burning desire , which get me charged. But I am worried about my children today. Will they have the fire? the burning desire to achieve their needs? Because, they get everything they want today! Will they strive harder? I don't know!

I also feel  that my kids are not that happy as I was , as a kid! I feel , despite all the lavish facilities, we are still unhappy sometimes. Moreoever , their happiness is much more costlier affair. My son, who is in the UKG, asking for an LCD TV in his room , so that he can watch pogo before sleeping! (Well, we have asked him to wait for some more months and somehow he stopped crying.)

Gone are the days, when we found happiness in Small things! And as philosophers say, "We all go behind the riches, and after sometime, we find that we lost the real riches of life!- the small happiness!"

How I wish, I could give stronger dreams and happiness to my children!

CeeVee
Sep 2012

When we met today..( A poem written long back)

This is a poem which I wrote around 10 years back.. found it from my old diary..
Found it interesting.. hence posting here!

When we met today...

Oh! Silence, why thou art born 

When words are due?

Oh! Speech, why thou art born 

When eyes will say its say?

Is it to glow up the candle of love

burning in our hearts?

Oh! Raindrops , why must thou 

shower in today?

Oh! Gentle breeze why must thou

blow in today?

Is it to peep in between the 

looks, doubts and sighs?

Oh! Love, why did thou choose me

to play upon your pranks?

Oh! Life,why suddenly I feel 

I have just reborn?

Is it to tell me that Life is love

and that you are  my love and my life?!

By CeeVee (2001)

After 15 years, wrote this love poem today! ;)

I do not know If you know

Know How much I crave,

Crave to hold your hands

Hands in my hands to feel

To Feel the gentle  warmth

The Warmth of your love

The Love that gives even more

More than what love can be

Being together is all what  I need.

By CeeVee (2015) 

Teenagers- do they need moral policing?

When did this word “moral policing” come into existence?

Well, I don’t know when it came into existence, but, yes, it has become very popular recently. I guess, popularized by people who actually aspired once to become police, but unfortunately became something else!

Channels are organizing talk shows on whether this should be allowed or not. In the meantime, they themselves show clippings of how teenage girls were captured by “moral polices” from the hands of other teenage boys and keep repeating it. (remember how the TV channels showed the Gowhati incident)

Absurd! I would say. The whole concept of morality and immorality should be left to the individuals to decide themselves. In that case, why don’t they chase the sex racket that does the show somewhat ‘legally’? For the so called moral polices, I think these ‘known’ immoral traffic is OK, right?

After all, what’s the right of any person to get into the personal matters of another person? Morality and immorality is a highly personal matter. Now, coming to cultural and societal issues- I think our youth is more sensible and knows about the consequence of having careless sex. Don’t believe? Read this survey, conducted among 1200 teenagers in the four metros of our country. The 2012 TSI-ICMR sex survey reveals that an overwhelming majority of India's sexually-active urban teenagers – 90 per cent – lost their virginity well before they stepped into their 20s.

http://www.thesundayindian.com/en/story/teen-logic-just-do-it-and-move-on/7/38595/

Our teenagers KNOW , When , Where and How to have safe sex. 73 per cent use either condoms or contraceptive pills as a precautionary measure points to a level of responsibility and awareness that is commendable.

Of course I was first shocked to see that the present generation get a firsthand knowledge about sex much earlier than their parents’ generation knew. But felt consoled that they also know about the consequences too.

I think, the need of the hour is to give clear and reliable “sex education” or actually “body and life education” to the youth, rather than harassing them by the “moral policing”. To be frank, the problem lies in the eyes of the onlooker, who thinks that a 13 year old girl or boy when talk and sit together is problematic!

Change the colour of your eyes, please! I mean, have a clear eye than a blue eye!

Sex is a basic need of all human beings. But, our society has some unwritten rules and limits, which when crossed, creates issues. I would say, we all have “right for sex” but, “having it rightly, at the right time , with the right person” is what is to be taught to the next generation. But again, teach that, in a proper way, than giving it in the hands of some “morons” who consider themselves the saviors of the society and culture, but in real, have vulgar thoughts themselves.

Our society is changing. Be ready to face the reality instead of blaming that, “such things never existed in our times!”. And can anyone say with proof that, some fifty or hundred years ago, no one was raped or there was no illegal sex and there was no sex happening outside the home? Such things existed even in the epics! Now, why this big cry and trying to act “clean”?  OK, I am not advocating free sex or public sex or any such thing. I am just reminding that , there existed much worse forms of sexual anarchy , if you go through our scriptures and history.

I would say, respect every individual’s privacy and leave such highly personal matters to themselves. Also please tell scientific facts in an authentic manner to our children and also how to behave in an elegant manner even when they are with their partner in the public. Teach them, self defense techniques to counter unwanted sexual advances. Teach them, to differentiate between the “right” and the “wrong”  looks and touch (this is important for both boys and girls these days!)

Last but never the least, there can be many different types of relationships between a boy and a girl, other than just physical. The relationship can be psychological attachment,  social attachment  or a professional attachment. The youth today, knows how to differentiate between the types of relationships .Unfortunately, the previous generation is not able to understand this!

CeeVee

P.S: In the same survey , it is also found that , a high percentage of teenagers felt that you need to be in "love" with the person in order to have sex with them. hmm.. that's good. thankgod, we have not reached that worse state , where strangers get into sex! Let's be happy at that , buddy!

Friendship day thoughts!

How many True friends can we have??
What's the meaning of "TRUE" Friendship?
Is it possible to find someone who is exactly same as you?
A person who is similar in tastes..emotions and everything?
Which of the friendships is more long lasting ?- the one where the Two are very similar
Or, those friendships , where the two r at two extremes ?

I have seen many friends who are so diferent in tastes..in likings.. in the way they are... BUT still they are BEST friends...

I have seen some friends who are so similar in tastes..who like to do the same things... who love to share their thoughts.. and Are Great friends..

Consider urself lucky..if you got a Great friend.. or a BEST friend... either way, you can have a Deep Friendship..with Only a few....all the remaining may remain just Friends...

Some friendships lead to Love affair... But i think ... all deep Friendships are LOVE AFFAIRS!!

Yes..you love your friend.. and are ready to do anything for him/her..
You understand what he/she says...and feels..even without telling..
If u had a Bad day..your friend identifies it just by a glance..
if u have a problem..he/she identifies it ,just by the word "hallo" on phone
when u r happy..u wish u be with ur friend...
When u r sad...u wish ur friend were with u....

Now,, that's the same thing that happens between Lovers!

Thus, Any relation which goes deep..is a Love Affair..
A love affair between Two SOULS.. Two PEOPLE ..

Consider yourself extremely lucky, if you got a Friend as ur Father, Mother, Brother, Sister, Husband.etc... and yes.. Daughter and Son..

I was particularly attracted to this lovely quote..
"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."

Its very rare to get such a good friendship in our life.. I have been fortunate to find a few diamonds as friends.. BEST friend and GREAT friend.. I am not naming them here.. coz, the persons whom i am referring to..know its him/her!

Chao..for now
CeeVee

The Creation (My First Poem- written in 1998)

The Sky so Blue, the Clouds so Swift!
The Lovely valley, the Lonely trees!
The Flowing river, the Cooing birds!
The Blooming flowers, the Blue mountains!

        Isn't it a Madrigal by the Maestro?
        Isn't it a Mansion by the Architect?
        Isn't it a Masterpiece by the Artist?
        I wonder! Oh God! why all this?

Yes! the Madrigal and the Mansion
And the Masterpiece of our creator,
Are being spared for us,
Just for us! the Best of all His creations!

by
CeeVee (1998)

വേണോ വേണ്ടയോ ?

വേണോ വേണ്ടയോ ?

കല്യാണം കഴിക്കാന്‍ ഒരു പെണ്ണിനെ തേടി നാടായ നാട്ടിലെല്ലാം അലഞ്ഞു നടക്കും. ഓരോ സ്ഥലത്തും ഓരോ കാരണങ്ങള്‍ പറഞ്ഞു ഒഴിയും. അവസാനം ഒരു പെണ്ണും കിട്ടാതെ കെട്ടാതെ നടക്കും. എന്താ, ഇത് പോലെ നമുക്ക് അറിയാവുന്ന ചില ആള്‍ക്കാര്‍ ഇല്ലേ ? 

നമ്മടെ ഗതികെടിനു അങ്ങനത്തെ ഒരാളാണ് നമ്മുടെ മുതലാളി എന്ന് വച്ചാലോ? മുതലാളി എന്ന് വച്ചാല്‍ മാനേജരും ആവാം , ഉടമസ്തനുമാവാം. 

തീരുമാനം എടുക്കാനുള്ള കഴിവാണ് ഒരു നേതാവിന് വേണ്ട ഏറ്റവും പ്രധാനപെട്ട കഴിവുകളില്‍ ഒന്നായി കാണപെടുന്നത്. ശെരിയായ തീരുമാനം ശെരിയായ സമയത്ത് എടുക്കാന്‍ കഴിയുക എന്നത് ഏതോരു മാനേജരുടെയും കര്‍ത്തവ്യമാണ്. അതൊക്കെ ചുമ്മാ ഡയലോഗിന് കൊള്ളാം , ശെരിക്കും ഒരു തീരുമാനം എടുക്കേണ്ട സമയത്തു  പലരും ഒന്ന് പതറി പോകാറുണ്ട് എന്നല്ലേ നിങ്ങള്‍ ഇപ്പൊ ചിന്തിച്ചേ ? 

ഡിസിഷന്‍ മേക്കിംഗ് പ്രോസസ് എന്നത് നമ്മുടെ ബ്രെയിന്‍ നടത്തുന്ന സങ്കീര്‍ണ്ണമായ ഒരു പ്രക്രിയയാണ് എന്ന് നമുക്ക് തന്നെ അറിയാം., ഇതിനെ കൂടുതല്‍ സങ്കീര്‍ണ്ണമാക്കുന്നത് ഒരേ കാര്യത്തില്‍ നമുക്ക് കുറെയേറെ ഒപ്ഷന്‍സ്‌ ഉള്ളപ്പോഴാണ്. അവസാനം  ഞാന്‍ നേരത്തെ പറഞ്ഞ പെണ്ണ് കാണല്‍ പരിപാടി പോലെ ആയിപ്പോകും. ഒരു തീരുമാനത്തില്‍ എത്തുമ്പോഴേക്കും വയസു കടന്നിരിക്കും! 

തിരക്കുള്ള ഒരു റോഡിലൂടെ നിങ്ങള്‍ ഒരു കാര്‍ ഓടിക്കുകയാനെന്നു കരുതുക.(അതിപ്പോ,ഒരു ബി എം ഡബ്ല്യു യായാലും ഒരു പാട്ട വണ്ടിയായാലും കൊള്ളാം!) അതിന്റെ ഡ്രൈവര്‍ സീറ്റിലിരുന്നു നിങ്ങള്‍ നടത്തുന്ന ഓരോ നീക്കവും എത്ര സുപ്രധാനമാണെന്ന് ഞാന്‍ പറയേണ്ടല്ലോ! കാരണം നീങ്ങളുടെ ഓരോ ചലനവും  നിങ്ങളെയും നിങ്ങളുടെ കാറില്‍ സന്ച്ചരിക്കുന്നവരുടെയും മാത്രമല്ല, ആ പാതയിലൂടെ പോകുന്ന ഏവരെയും ബാധിക്കുന്ന ഒന്നാണ്. തീരുമാനം എടുക്കാന്‍ ചിലപ്പോ നിങ്ങള്ക്ക് കിട്ടുക വെറും ചില നിമിഷങ്ങള്‍ മാത്രമായിരിക്കും. ഓരോ തവണ കാര്‍ ഓടിക്കുമ്പോഴും  അനുഭവങ്ങള്‍ വ്യതസ്തമായിരിക്കും. നേരിടേണ്ടി വരുന്ന പ്രതിസന്ധികള്‍ വേറെയായിരിക്കും. പക്ഷെ ഒരു എക്സ്പേര്‍ട്ട് ഡ്രൈവര്‍ അതിലെ സഞ്ചാരികളെ ഒന്നും അറിയിക്കാതെ ഇതെല്ലാം തരണം ചെയ്തു പോകും. ഇനി ചിലപ്പോ നമ്മുടെ പാതയില്‍ അപ്പ്രതീക്ഷിതമായി ചിലര്‍ എടുത്തു ചാടിയെന്നിരിക്കും. ആ സമയത്ത് നമ്മള്‍ പോലും അറിയാതെ നമ്മുടെ കാലു ബ്രെയിക്കിലേക്ക് പോകും. എന്താ, ഞാന്‍ പറഞ്ഞത് ശേരിയല്ലേ? 

ഇത് പോലെയാണ് ഒരു മാനേജറും. തിരക്കുള്ള പാതയിലൂടെ ദിനവും ഒരു കൂട്ടം സഞ്ചാരികളെയും കൊണ്ട് കാര്‍ ഓടിച്ചു ലകഷ്യ സ്ഥാനത്ത് എത്തിക്കാനായി ഡ്രൈവര്‍ സീറ്റില്‍ ഇരുന്നു പൂര്‍ണ്ണ ഉത്തരവാദിത്വവും നിയന്ത്രണത്തോടും സ്റ്റിയറിംഗ് വീല്‍ പിടിക്കുന്ന ആള്‍. ഒരു തുടക്കക്കാരനായ ഡ്രൈവറോ , അല്ലെങ്കില്‍ ഒരു പുതിയ കാറൊ ആണെങ്കില്‍ ചിലപ്പോ ചില പോരുത്തകെടുകള്‍ ഉണ്ടായേക്കാം. പക്ഷെ ഒരു മികവ് തെളിയിച്ച ഡ്രൈവറൊ അല്ലെങ്കില്‍ പരിചയമുള്ള വഴിയോ ആണെങ്കില്‍ എല്ലാം “ഓട്ടോമാറ്റിക്” ആയി നടന്നുകൊള്ളും അല്ലേ? ഒരു വാഹനം ഓടിക്കുമ്പോള്‍ നമ്മള്‍ എടുക്കുന്ന ചെറിയ ചെറിയ തീരുമാനങ്ങള്‍ നമ്മള്‍ പോലും അറിയാതെ സംഭവിക്കുന്ന പോലെ വേണം നമ്മുടെ ജോലിയില്‍ നാം എടുക്കുന്ന ചെറിയ ചെറിയ തീരുമാനങ്ങള്‍. ഇടൈയ്ക് ചിലപ്പോ പ്രതിസന്ധി ഖട്ടങ്ങളില്‍ മാത്രം “സടന്‍ ബ്രേക്ക് “ ഇട്ടു പോകും. അപ്പോള്‍ മാത്രമേ നമ്മുടെ സഹയാത്രികര്‍ അറിയുകയുള്ളൂ.

ലകഷ്യ സ്ഥാനത്തു എത്താനായി ഒരായിരം തീരുമാനങ്ങള്‍ നമുക്കെടുക്കെണ്ടിവരും. പക്ഷെ തീരുമാനം എടുക്കാന്‍ നമ്മള്‍ വൈകിയാലോ തെറ്റായ തീരുമാനം എടുത്താലോ അതിന്റെ ഫലം അനുഭവിക്കെണ്ടിവരുക നമ്മള്‍ മാത്രം ആയിരിക്കില്ല. 

ഇത് പോലെ തന്നെയാണ് ഒരു മാനേജറും തീരുമാനങ്ങള്‍  എടുക്കുന്നത്. ഒരു എക്സ്പര്ട്ട് ഡിസിഷന്‍ മേക്കര്‍ ആകാന്‍ എക്സ്പീരിയന്‍സ് വേണ്ടി വരും. ആരും കാര്‍ ഓടിച്ചു തുടങ്ങുമ്പോ തന്നെ എക്സ്പര്ട്ട് ഡ്രൈവര്‍ ആകില്ലല്ലോ ! എന്ന് വച്ച് എക്സ്പീരിയന്‍സ് ഉണ്ടാകണമെങ്കില്‍ ആദ്യമൊക്കെ പരീക്ഷണം നടത്താനുള്ള സാഹചര്യമുണ്ടാകണം. അതിനുള്ള മനസ്സും ഉണ്ടാകണം. 

ഒരു വ്യക്തി തീരുമാനം എടുക്കാന്‍ വൈകുന്നതിന്റെ ഒരു കാരണം അയാളുടെ ആത്മവിശ്വാസമില്ലയ്മയാണ് എന്ന് മനശാസ്ത്രഞ്ഞന്മാര്‍ കണ്ടെത്തിയിട്ടുണ്ട്. അതുകൊണ്ടു തന്നെ റിസ്ക്‌ എടുക്കാന്‍ ചിലപ്പോ അവര്‍ക്ക് പറ്റിയെന്നു വരില്ല. ഒരുപാടു ആലോചിക്കും, ഇരുന്നും കിടന്നും ,നടന്നും.അവസാനം അവസരം വഴി തെറ്റി പോയാല്‍ പിന്നീട് ബാക്കിയുള്ളവരുടെ മേല്‍ പഴിചാരി രക്ഷപെടാനും ശ്രമിക്കും. 

ഇനി വേറെ ചിലകൂട്ടരുണ്ട് അവര്‍ വീണ്ടുവിചാരമില്ലാതെ ചാടിക്കേറി തീരുമാനങ്ങള്‍ എടുത്തുകളയും. അശ്രദ്ധ മൂലം ചില ഡ്രൈവര്‍മാര്‍ അപകടം ഉണ്ടാക്കി വയ്ക്കുന്ന പോലെ . അതും പ്രശ്നമാണ്.

എന്തൊക്കെയായാലും തീരുമാനങ്ങള്‍ എടുത്തു മുന്നോട്ടു നയിക്കാന്‍ പടനായകനപ്പോലെ ഒരു ധീരനായ പോരാളി തന്നെയാകണമെന്നില്ല.ഒരു നല്ല  കാര്‍ ഡ്രൈവരെ പോലെ  എങ്കിലും ആയാല്‍ മതിയെന്ന് ഇപ്പൊ മനസ്സിലായില്ലേ? നിങ്ങളുടെ പ്രിയപ്പെട്ട കാര്‍ ഓടിക്കുന്ന ലാഖവത്തോടെ  പ്രശനങ്ങളെ സമീപിച്ചുനോക്കൂ. എല്ലാം ശുഭമാകുമെന്നെ ! കാരണം ഈ ലോകത്തില്‍ ഏറ്റവും പ്രശസ്തമായ പല സംഭവങ്ങളും  ഉണ്ടായെക്കുന്നത് ഒരു നിമിഷത്തെ തീരുമാനം കൊണ്ടാണ്. അങ്ങനെ  ചില സമയത്ത് നമുക്ക് തോന്നുന്ന ഉള്‍വിളി ഒരു പക്ഷെ നമ്മുടെ ഒരു സുപ്രധാന തീരുമാനമായെക്കാം. പണ്ടത്തെ ആള്‍ക്കാര്‍ പറയുന്ന പോലെ എല്ലാം ശുഭാമാകും എന്ന് കരുതി കാര്യങ്ങള്‍ അങ്ങട് തീരുമാനിക്കൂ എന്നെ !!

 By CeeVee 

The MBA (dis?)Advantage

If you go for a drive from one end of Cochin to the other , at every bus stop or say, at every one Kilometer distance , you are sure to find a B-school.. (you get an MBA or a PGDM there!).The statistics is higher in other parts of the country, especially metros. With due respect to all the eminent management institutes (like my own SMS, CUSAT and a few other reputed ones), I take this opportunity to salute all those great business minds who have started up  their own B-schools in India. I salute them for the following factors…

One: For starting one of the most profitable business any man/ group can start.

Two: For churning out some of the most “useless” group of youth to the economy every year .

Three: For creating a “bubble” of management education, which is about to burst, just like the IT bubble!

Four: For creating a group of management faculty members, who doesn’t know the ABCs of teaching management and the required professional ethics.

Saying this, I can never ignore the fact that I am also  a Management faculty and once again ,with due respect to  all the eminent management faculty members, who have dedicated their life in the grooming of a present day manager. 

You may be wondering what makes me say all this. Well , thanks once again to some very interesting recent experiences and research. 

First, let me share the experience. A friend of mine who owns an IT company shared me a story of how his firm’s name was misused by some fraud teams. These unscrupulous guys approached some B-schools asking for resumes of girls with photographs and it seems they also conducted a written exam on their behalf, for which these guys charged some fees. The management institution’s faculty members were so ignorant (or rather careless) to check whether the guys who approached them were genuine. Even after one month of sending resumes and the written exams, not even a single placement happened and that’s when the faculty members  traced the real owners of the firm.( Well, we cannot blame the faculty for being so “careless”, considering their workload, emotional labour and the pressure of achieving the placement targets). Well, my friend at last traced out the real culprits and warned them for misusing his firm’s name.

Now, coming to the research I did. My doctoral research has just started and as part of it I am reading more about management education in India. Very interesting statistics coming up now.. 

Just three years back, can you guess the number of management institutions with AICTE approval? Well, it was around 1400 in number. Add another 300 or so without AICTE approvals. 

Do you know the present number of management education institutes in India? It has multiplied more than three times. Around 4766 institutes  are approved by AICTE , as on May 2012 (and growing day by day..).. yes..add another 1000 who claim to possess their own accreditation or International affiliation and consider that AICTE approval is not all required for Management education! 

Each institution is trying to grab the opportunity and provide seats for students even without the necessary qualification. Gone are the days, when you have to apply for an MBA seat, keep your fingers crossed and wait for the admission. Now a days, the moment you are reaching your final year  graduation, you can join for MBA course and get your MBA by the time you finish your arrears of the graduation!! But , hey, all this facility.. comes with a cost dear! There are B-schools who charge as high as 25 lakhs for an MBA degree(A real good looking degree certificate from UK /US university..! )

Now, what happens after admission? Poor guys… I didn’t mean the student here..I meant the faculty…especially those who are slightly ethical.. they are the ones who struggle a lot .. because, they are forced to give pass marks even for those who never deserve to! Otherwise.. their performance will be rated down!.. (see, its like a two-sided sword.. firstly, if you don’t give marks to students.. they will score low marks for faculty appraisal.. and secondly the management will fire the faculty for teaching badly, coz of which the students are failing! .. so, why take risk?..give them pass marks..u got it?)

What happens after MBA? The placement tension…  the tension..not just for the students..but also  the faculty… and the management in all sense.. This tension leads to several malpractices also, like the one I mentioned above!

Many students ask me, “Mam, will I get a job if I do an MBA from this or that institute?” .My answer is simple, “Your job is never dependent on 'why or where' you do your MBA, but on 'how' and 'what' you are”

Even when there are so many types of jobs and so many types of MBA, nowadays students are not getting placed in high flying jobs as their previous generation of MBAs. The logic is simple : MBA cannot be considered a special degree anymore dear!  MBA now has lots of “specializations”, but its no more “special”. Every Tom, dick and harry can get an MBA degree!

What’s wrong in it? Nothing wrong..just that,in future, when  you enter any organisation, you will find that the security guard also has an MBA degree!

Footnote 1: My advice to all MBA freshers. Don’t have too much glossy dreams-that you will get an Air conditioned cabin to sit and work in your first job. Be realistic and be ready to sweat out in jobs, which used to go to mere graduates some years back.. especially, if you have done your MBA from second and third tier institutes…

Footnote 2: My advice to all those who are planning to take an MBA degree. - Don't believe what the marketing brochure of the institute says. Believe in the degree certificate  that will be given by a valid University at the end of the course. 

Footnote 3 : If you replace the word “MBA” to “Engineering” in this article, I think its equally applicable!

Adieu..
CeeVee...