Dear Women, Do you celebrate your Womanhood?

Yet another International women's day has just passed on. Of late, we see that the day is being celebrated with much pomp everywhere. We have several organisations including educational institutions, the Govt, the Non-govt bodies , the corporate and the media celebrating the day in different ways. Last week, I received at least 15 calls inviting me as a speaker / chief guest for some of these events. Instead of me attending these events and giving a boost to my ego, I decided that I would rather spend the day with the future generation - the college girls and provide them hope, inspiration and some great women role models in front of them. Hence we celebrated the day as  the "Career Queen Summit 2019" , where we had a grand array of women achievers who got felicitated and who shared their journey with the next generation. I always believed that we need to instill the confidence and desire in the next generation of girls rather than making them victims of age-old stereotypical cultural norms. We may not be able to help them with their family expectations but as a society, organisations like ours should strive to make the world better for the girl child. You can read / see more about the event at our facebook page www.facebook.com/prayaanalabs 

During the summit, I asked the audience - "How many of you are able to celebrate your womanhood?" .To my great surprise only one of the girls actually lifted her hand out of the 200 plus audience including senior women! 

Yes, we celebrate women's day, but are we able to celebrate womanhood? Are we able to be happy with ourselves? Are we able to accept ourselves as what we are ? Why is that our society is unable to let a girl do this ?

We still live in a society , where,  when a girl child is born, the neighbors and relatives come and congratulate the parents and then say, " Now that you have a girl child, be more responsible. Start saving money.You need to send her off to a good family" 

We still live in a society, where the girl child is given lesser education compared to the boys of the family. 

We still live in a society 

- where the girl child is asked to wear particular types of attire because she is supposed to wear it ! 

- where the girl child is not allowed to choose the timing of her marriage or the boy 

- where women and girls of any age feels unsafe when they travel alone 

- where women are not given the decision making freedom when it comes to major decisions in the family 

- where she is body shamed , mutilated and even "shaped up" , so that she gets a nice groom 

- where the boys are educated highly so that he gets more dowry and not because he is interested in studying 

- where girls are asked to choose  "easier" and "stereotypical" careers than letting her choose what she likes to do. 

- Where marital rape , domestic violence , physical, emotional and mental abuse is considered "OK" inside a house since its a "family affair" 

- Where the girls are judged by what they wear, what they eat, how they walk , what they do , who they walk with etc. 

- where women leadership / entrepreneurship is still way behind unless it happens out of bare necessity. Glass ceiling, leaking pipeline, wooden ceiling and what not we have , which prevents the girl / woman to grow up in her career. 

- where girls / women are asked to "keep quiet" and not be loud about their opinions or ideas. 
-- where the meaning of "freedom" varies for men and women.  

Well, these are all some of  the reasons (there could be more!) , why our girls /women are not able to celebrate their lives. 

As a girl child, I did face these issues, but as a woman , I decided to put an end to these.  It took immense courage , determination and facing challenges to reach the position . To take a stand of my own, to be able to express my mind freely , to do what I want to do with my life and yes, "To celebrate my womanhood" 

I think this happened only because I took decisions for myself. My decisions were my choices. And each of these choices had its responsibility & the fear of failure . But still I went ahead . Some decisions meant that I defied the family, some meant that I defied the society. But still I went ahead.   I did it because I placed my happiness over anything else. It is a tough decision. But still I went ahead. It meant that I had to face the wrath , face oppositions , face failures , face criticisms , face violence and face guilt. I have had  instances where I was sent out of the house and the door shut because I didn't listen to instructions of my family. I have stood outside the door of my own house crying until my friend came and took me to her home. But still i went ahead with my choice - my happiness. I became stronger and freer when I decided to stand up and say," This is my choice and I will go with this at any cost" 

So, girls / women , my message to you on this occasion of Women's day is this - "Enable yourself to be able to celebrate your womanhood" . It is not easy. But the journey and the destination will be surely exciting. 

As a concluding remark, let me share one more interesting conversation I had with a girl who attended the summit. The girl asked me during the tea break, "Maam, I found that a few of the women achievers - especially the high achievers were single or divorced or  have lost their husband. Does this mean that marriage is what prevents a girl's growth ? " . I didn't have an answer for this. Well, I smiled and said, "Get inside. Next session is about to begin!" . Later, I thought about this . "Is it true that most "high achiever" women doesn't have husband / family." We cannot generalize it though . However, one aspect is that these women have a higher decision making capacity as they own their life . They get ahead with faster and greater decisions about their life. This is what probably that makes them get ahead. In the case of married women, the decisions need to be discussed and negotiated with the family /husband. And most married women are "trained" from childhood to listen to husband's choices and not to have a choice of her own. The moment, she places importance for her choice, she starts to face oppositions. And most of the women succumb to these oppositions. 

 As long as we have women, who say , " I need to ask my husband's permission" when they are asked to go on official travel or to join for a training program or even to take a job, we cannot say that we have reached that stage of True empowerment or Celebrate womanhood. Until then, let's celebrate "Women's Day" every year ! :) 

#CeeVee 

#InternationalWomen'sDay 

#Feminism 

#March8 

x