Whenever I speak about women issues and ensuring gender equality at workplace or at society , I receive flak from men and sometimes women saying that I am being too irrational or emotional . Some men say that I am being cynical for no reason . Some say, "Women has to show their capability and get their due respect and not use feminism for getting privileges" . Some men say, "We are pro-women always . Its just that women do not take up leadership roles. " Some men say , "I have empowered my wife but she is unwilling to go to work." And the best part of all - Some men ask ," How does your husband tolerate you?"
Well, the list of excuses is long. One thing is sure - Capable women in our country are still in the kitchen deciding which masala to be added in the biriyani and which notebook brand is better for the kids while their husbands are enjoying the luxury of getting ironed shirts ready for their next travel.
Whenever I write about these things in an open manner, I get men responding to me back . " We also want gender equality. I am also a feminist. I do support women in whatever they want to do " .
Well, the man who says these dialogues in person or on the mike - Let's henceforth look at him closely - especially at his wife. Has his wife grown in her life as an individual after the marriage? Has his wife gained a name for herself in her field of career or business ? Has she got the empowerment to take her own decisions regarding the family and her career? Is she able to go out or travel on her own ?
So, my dear Men who say "I am a strong supporter of women" . Alright, I will agree . But my question and challenge to you is this : Has your wife risen up in her career / life after she married you? Has she fulfilled her dreams as a young girl or the goal that she set while she was in her college ? Has she done further education after marrying you? Has she got enough financial and intellectual empowerment or is she dependent on you ?
If the answer to any of these is NO, my dear men , please start re-thinking when you hold that mike and speak in the public that "You are a believer in Gender Equality" .
A real feminist like me will only scorn at such men !
A real man empowers his wife and allows her to fly high. Sometimes higher than him . Just like mine. Though he is not a partner in my business, he is an equal partner in handling home affairs and kids matters and giving his wife the flexibility of managing her career. He also enables his kids to understand the priority and respect a mom's needs at workplace by volunteering where needed. So, you would often see my husband doing the dishes or cooking or attending the openhouse of kids when I am not around.
But yes, I should also say this :It had been a tough journey to reach this state of Equal partnership at home matters since he also was raised in a patriarchal society during his childhood and his expectations of his wife also was stereotypical initially. However, as some men asks me, "How does your husband tolerate you?" , I do accept the same with due respect and leave it to their imagination.
To men who say, women with capability can face any odds and win..Yes, My dreams and capabilities did take me to heights, but it does require balancing of home affairs for which the Husband and the kids needs to be empowered.
Dear men, you become a real man when your wife rises in her life. Go ahead and show it to the world ! All the best!
CeeVee
21 Nov 2018
P.S: The above criteria is ONLY for Wife , not your daughter. I know you take care of your daughter well !
Pics : Me receiving the UNCTAD EMPRETEC Women in Business Award 2018, the First Indian to receive the same at World Investment Forum , held at GENEVA, Switzerland and Me along with my husband , Manoj Varma.
